A Tale of Two Expat Experiences: From Desperation to Confidence
by Alexandra Lehr
The First Day of Our Three-Year Italian Expat Adventure: On the first day of our three-year expat experience in Italy, I sat somewhat desperate, with two toddlers in my arms, on the floor of an empty apartment. The night before, I had arrived in the city exhausted and in the dark, unfamiliar with my surroundings. The apartment, hastily rented by my expat husband a few weeks earlier, was a sight unseen except for a few photos provided by the real estate agent, as making quick videos or sending numerous photos wasn’t as easy in 2003 as it is today. But lamenting wouldn’t help – I picked myself up, straightened my invisible crown, put the kids in the stroller, and set off to explore. Where was the playground, the supermarket, and who were our neighbors?
A second Chance: Determined not to repeat this rough start, which was also partly due to some unfortunate circumstances, we insisted on a look-and-see trip when our expat assignment to the USA came up in 2017. Although all contracts were signed and it was clear we would move to the USA for three years starting in August, we still demanded a preliminary trip. Thus, two months before the official start date, during our daughters’ spring break, we flew to Minneapolis, Minnesota, for a week. It took some convincing to allow our then 15-year-old daughters to join, as companies are generally reluctant to pay for four transatlantic flights, two hotel rooms, and an extra-large rental car. The argument was that the children should familiarize themselves with their new school and have a say in some decisions due to their age.
Relocation Agency: A Crucial Criterion for Home Selection: Many large companies frequently sending expats work with a local relocation agency to organize the look-and-see trip. The agency receives a detailed briefing before arrival (e.g., required school type/kindergarten, desired house/apartment size, etc.) and makes an initial selection. Our agency assigned Sherry, who was also a real estate agent, to assist us. We had several phone calls before the trip, and Sherry had arranged many appointments for us based on our requirements. The first priority was to find a suitable house. I had focused on a high school that seemed appropriate for the children, so our home search was concentrated in that school district. American real estate agents are well-versed in school districts, as these are often crucial criteria for renting or buying a house.
Over two days, Sherry guided us through five houses, and we were lucky: a lovely little house in a beautiful, green family neighborhood caught all our eyes and fit our budget. The rental agreement was quickly signed, paving the way for school enrollment. Initially overwhelmed by the German report cards, the high school administration lady took her time to understand everything, provided us with plenty of information material, and gave us a schedule for the school start. The children also received a tour of the entire school (which takes a while when a high school has its own swimming and tennis halls) and even met some teachers. What an incredibly reassuring feeling it was to know where we would be in two months!
Including Time for Exploring the New Environment: The key to a successful look-and-see trip is to make sure that, alongside all the necessary appointments like house hunting, school enrollment, and bank account setup, you also take the time to thoroughly explore and absorb your new surroundings. During our week in Minneapolis, we went for walks, wandered through supermarkets, sat in coffee shops to observe our environment, and even had time for an afternoon swim in the greenery outside the city. We discovered that we could feel comfortable in our “new life.” When we finally arrived in Minneapolis with all our belongings in early August 2017, I was anything but desperate. Optimism and anticipation for what was to come clearly prevailed – even though I once again sat in a (initially) completely empty house. But this house, I had chosen myself.